It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
