Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The Olympian is in my bed
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