okay pat passed out under dana's car
She said her name was "party"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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