So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want nice things and good sex
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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