Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
