4 words: hood of his car
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
