Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
