Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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