Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
