Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
