I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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