Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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