and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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