maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
