She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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