i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
