Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
