remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Alive.
So much puke
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
