Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
