Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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