dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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