she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
