I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
