How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
