when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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