we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
