Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
