The maid of honor just puked.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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