So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
