can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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