Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
