You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
