I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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