how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
