youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
