i will never coherently bang her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize