he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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