Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
