like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize