God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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