ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
there is puke in my bra ... again
that is very illegal...i love you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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