I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
