woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize