hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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