You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
