I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
