she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
