My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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