went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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