it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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