I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
