Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
two words: eviction party
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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