I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
