you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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