I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
