Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
