hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
