I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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