Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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