I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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