Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I met the friendliest cop last night
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize