If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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