Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
