I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
