I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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