My Higher Power is John Stamos
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
