Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
