if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
