I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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