Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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