I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
