2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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