so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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