There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize