My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
