You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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